Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
14162
Ah, Triumph. What a grand feeling. I know of but very few other emotions that surpass the greatness one feels following the accomplishment of a grand physical challenge. The conquering of Mt Shasta has been in my head since 2003 when brother Stephen and I were passing through Weeds, CA after riding our bikes down the length of Oregon at the close of summer. I beheld the steep slopes, the snow covered peak, and the majesty of the Volcano and yearned for an opportunity to sit atop. It took 5 yrs.
The first hinderance was dearest mum. You see, she feared for the life of her ‘baby boy’ after observing the claimed reckless exploits of her middle son Atom in his teenage years combined with the irresponsibility & seemingly dangerous stunts her youngest practiced as an amateur Builderer and Parkour enthusiast. In 2003, quite the battle of Italian wills (stubbornness) took place between baby boy and Moodest when it was suggested that that July he would ascend the highest peak in the contiguous US with longtime friends CarrotSlime & Co., Aaroneus & Butch.
Eventually he did, probably mostly due to the fact that her son threatened (and in fact did) to grow out his goatee until he was permitted to climb. The tipping point was the thought that her son would appear as an wild & ungroomed Groomsmen in his HS friend’s wedding.
Four years and 50 weeks after his nuptials, Hans der Miller and I waived goodbye to his wife Kaisa as we pulled out of his driveway and began the 3.5 hr drive northward from the state’s capitol to the mighty Mount Shasta. Following a good 3hr catch-up on life and even some religious philosophizing, we caught site of the mountain, our route and Hans quickly suggested I take a peek in Mountaineering : How not to Die 7th Edition.
I felt my briefing with the heavily illustrated mountaineering manual was similar to Neo’s when his brain was downloaded in seconds with all skills of a Kung Fu master. In fact, as Hans put his sweet Tacoma into park at Bunny Flats Trailhead, I opened my eyes, gasped and exclaimed, “I know mountaineering.”
The elevation of Bunny Flats is 6950, had no snow and a contained a warmth from the entire spectrum of colors in Nature. West Face Gully base camp lies at 9,750ft, was completely blanketed in snow and the only colors visible were white and rock. We pitched our tent, fell asleep for a few hours, woke up, practiced self belay & arrest in full gear on a nearby slope, chucked some rocks across the snow, ate dehydrated dinner, talked about the women in our lives, see if our burps would cause any avalanches, took some pictures and then went to sleep. By 10pm our eyes were closed.
4am we awoke not to our alarm (it was set for 4:14), but to the inhabitants of nearby Tentsylvania marching in droves (the Center for Irrefutable Studies defines a droves as multiple groups, regardless the size of each individual group, totaling more tan 20 individuals making forward progress in a single direction) toward the behemouth west face. Our gear was on in minutes, our breakfast cooked in 12 and our crampons engaged in hmmm, well about 35.
The first hour and one half was easy. Then I got to about 11,000ft and the 80 hour work weeks I had been putting in for the “Get More, For Less” Target Value July commercial jumped out and slapped me hard in the face. Altitude sickness coupled with fatigue made for a very sloooooow zigzagging up the 40 percent grade. I could only drink water. My stomach was disturbed enough by the ½ packet of Gu I forced down. 3.88 hours I was atop the first section.
Hans der Alpinist took a quick jaunt over a small hill and photographed a spectacular Bergschrund while I lay face down on a pile of rocks dreaming of fonder times watching Batman or Spiderman cartoons after swim practice in HS. Hans was back in a jiff and across the saddle we plodded until we reached the base of Misery Hill. Rightly named, it rises 700 feet over such a short time and lands you atop the last saddle to climb before you reach the rocky cliffs of the summit.
I actually felt better after my nap and Misery Hill wasn’t that miserable. In fact, I could see the peak atop that mound of misery and became full of as much energy as my sleep deprived, I-only-ate-one-power-gel and there-is-no-oxygen-at-13,878ft body could muster. It was a beautiful ¾ mile tromp with nothing but blue skies and an occasional peak 30 miles into the distance (Mt Lassen).
The last section was rocky with little patches of snow that wound directly to the top. We waited our turn, then spent about 4 min atop the 14162 peak looking around and making a video tribute to the Europeans who created crampons and then of course the late Sir Edmund Hillary. Total ascent time, right around 8hours.
So down we went, signed our names in the book, fell gracefully down the snow of the cliffs, traversed the saddle and then took off our crampons. I wasn’t exactly sure why we took off these beloved and faithful friends that guided our ascent until Hans strapped them to his bag and then sat down and started to slide straight down Misery Hill. For the next 1 hour we participated in the wonderful sport of glissading.
Yes, 8 hours to ascend, only 1 to descend.
Then a cool dip in Shasta lake and an awesome pizza and I was ready for the sweet ride back to Sacramento and the joys of tackling yet another 14,000ft CA peak.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Jefffest, HorrorQuest
There are not many words that have 3 fs next to each other. In fact, DonausSchifffahrerKapitan is the only one that immediately comes to mind. Well, other than Jefffest of course, which is probably my favorite triple consonant word.
How lucky is Jeff to not only be the coolest guy drink, but also to be borned on 'National Talk like a Pirate Day?' Yup, you got it, pretty cool. Thats why cool things happen to him.
Imagine(no really, imagine this is all happening to you. its kinda like a choose your own adventure book) that you were a cool guy drink and you were invited for cool guy drinks in santa monica with your cool guy drink roommates. When you get in your car to drive to predetermined cool guy drink place, there, in your backseat you find a gypsie reciting something about how your future has been stolen and if you want it back you'll have to listen to her prophecy. She was sent to help you out. The gypsie then recites a limerick -
You've a right to a jury of these, go under the one by the seas, you have only 2 hours, so use all your powers and take back the future they've seized.
so, you(are you still imagining?) go where? Don't read further until you figure it out! or your future will forever be gone.
Under the santa monica pier (nice job figuring it out) in the darkest corner, you meet a pirate with a rather odd accent. He sits you down and challenges you to the game mastered by all pirates, Perudo. Luckily, if you are Jeff, you just happen to know the game better than most, you win, he is banished to an eternity on the Flying Dutchman, but in return grabs your hand and gives you the black spot. You're a cursed man now and are told that your previously stolen future will now be lost to you forever at 9:19 this night and that the man who stole it lies at the next destination. Follow the clue -
At the corner of road named a French "tale" and a road with a Mormon school of learning lays a quiet place that values natural beauty. Through this terrestrial wonder water flows from pole to pole. Along this stream, toward the pole where penguins can be found, you will find a riddle master.
Where did you end up? UCLA botanical gardens? yup! then you are right on track to save your future. Go deep within, confront the cute lil' riddle master and solve this :
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear.
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
With some difficulty you finally figure out that the answer was an egg, but still wonder who in their life has ever eaten a marble egg. nevertheless, you have conquered and the riddle master gives you your next destination. Rhyme the lines and find out where to go :
Slow clown, a club day. Bat kill! sure hand, best learn Deaf, clue star begun!
a simple clue of course, but only because you have spent the last several years rhyming ever sentence(be it the speaker in church, your roommates chatting in your lounge or simply reading your law school books) that you encounter in any form. You think for a few seconds, then head to the subway station. Why you ask? Read the clue again and rhyme with it - Go down the subway at wilshire and western. jeff, your future __? ?___.
Down the neverending escalator you go, wondering and waiting for the next villian. "Good evening Mr Anderson," are the first words you hear as you step off. Agent Smith, master of the matrix, appears from behind a pillar. He challenges you to a rather uncustomary gentleman's duel. 5min to solve this crosword :
Quickly reacting to Agent Smith's onslaught of wit, you 'move like him' and prove that you are 'the one' by filling in 'three paces' for 4 across. Agent Smith is caught off guard, you run toward him and jump inside his body. He is shocked, shudders, then explodes, leaving you triumphant and flexing your 1s and 0s. Up the escalator you ascend, wondering what now awaits and looking stern that only 42 minutes remain until your future is gone forever.
"Why so serious?" a white-faced, purple clad clown asks as he falls in stride and then pulls you over to a nearby table. "How about a magic trick?" he spits as his tongue flashes in out of his mouth rapidly, "If you figure it out, I'll give you a clue. If you don't, i'll show you my disappearing pencil trick." He bests you in the first, you him in the second. It comes down to a tie-breaker game of War. A trick deck and the only time this Joker isn't one step ahead of his nemesis results in your victory. Upset, he hands you the clue -
From Dust to Dust, like Dante’s ascent, you must follow Virgil With the rise of the sun Gaylord leads you to battle à l'est you will land on the site of the greatest armada of history No parachutes are necessary for this southward invasion From France you have come to meet Lafayette’s mentor and Revolutionary idol He will lead you east to a Royal Admiral, who, eager to reach his knighthood, sails your vessel towards the setting sun Where a ruthless one who cannot be named awaits to check you just beyond the tilted X
You drive through the streets, puzzled by all the literary references and what in the clue, but you halt outside the stone wall of a Graveyard. Thereon lies a large 'X' and 2 cups. Rasputin and a cohort appear and allow you 1 question before you must drink. 1 of them always lies, the other always tells the truth. Which question do you ask?
Well, luckily you ask the right question (something about what cup the other guy would tell you to drink if you asked him) and are directed toward the right cup. Unfortunately, after you sip, Atom tells you that you actually drank the cup with poison in it and will soon die. Luckily, Atom, the one who always lies, was also lying about poison being in the cup and you are safe to proceed to...
Jeff Stephens, you are a marked man. Your future awaits where the day of circumcision and calvary's cross combine, ascend Garfield tower to heights where faith ceases and only fear resides.
Funny thing is, the 'v' in Calvary is often replaced with a 'g' in T9 predictive text, which made this clue a little harder. But eventually, with some phone calls and a hanger left out on the sidewalk, Jeff, gypsie emily and terrorist Wendy walk into the abandoned Garfield building in downtown LA. Its a cool building, mostly b/c its 12 stories high and the floors are dark and somethign was waiting on teh roof for Jeff.
Welp, Jeff makes it to the roof, sees no one, but hears a voice boom through the night sky.
"Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? Are your deeds lay bare? Are your sins punishable?"
"I do not fear death" Jeff shouts back. Again, the boom: "Have you come to retain your future then? Do you believe i have it? Do you know who I am?"
"You are none other than Davy Jones, famed captain of the Flying Dutchman!"
"You are mistaken." shouts a tall, half naked figure, chest adorned in 8 gold medals and head in a swim cap and goggles. "I am Michael Phelps and I AM THE SEA! And you will spend an eternity on this 'ship!"
Jeff laughed and then we went to Katie and Lynsey's house to eat a most excellent Mr Burns cake. Hapy birthday Jefff and congratulations dear reader for succesfully finishing the Horrorquest.
How lucky is Jeff to not only be the coolest guy drink, but also to be borned on 'National Talk like a Pirate Day?' Yup, you got it, pretty cool. Thats why cool things happen to him.
Imagine(no really, imagine this is all happening to you. its kinda like a choose your own adventure book) that you were a cool guy drink and you were invited for cool guy drinks in santa monica with your cool guy drink roommates. When you get in your car to drive to predetermined cool guy drink place, there, in your backseat you find a gypsie reciting something about how your future has been stolen and if you want it back you'll have to listen to her prophecy. She was sent to help you out. The gypsie then recites a limerick -
You've a right to a jury of these, go under the one by the seas, you have only 2 hours, so use all your powers and take back the future they've seized.
so, you(are you still imagining?) go where? Don't read further until you figure it out! or your future will forever be gone.
Under the santa monica pier (nice job figuring it out) in the darkest corner, you meet a pirate with a rather odd accent. He sits you down and challenges you to the game mastered by all pirates, Perudo. Luckily, if you are Jeff, you just happen to know the game better than most, you win, he is banished to an eternity on the Flying Dutchman, but in return grabs your hand and gives you the black spot. You're a cursed man now and are told that your previously stolen future will now be lost to you forever at 9:19 this night and that the man who stole it lies at the next destination. Follow the clue -
At the corner of road named a French "tale" and a road with a Mormon school of learning lays a quiet place that values natural beauty. Through this terrestrial wonder water flows from pole to pole. Along this stream, toward the pole where penguins can be found, you will find a riddle master.
Where did you end up? UCLA botanical gardens? yup! then you are right on track to save your future. Go deep within, confront the cute lil' riddle master and solve this :
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear.
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
With some difficulty you finally figure out that the answer was an egg, but still wonder who in their life has ever eaten a marble egg. nevertheless, you have conquered and the riddle master gives you your next destination. Rhyme the lines and find out where to go :
Slow clown, a club day. Bat kill! sure hand, best learn Deaf, clue star begun!
a simple clue of course, but only because you have spent the last several years rhyming ever sentence(be it the speaker in church, your roommates chatting in your lounge or simply reading your law school books) that you encounter in any form. You think for a few seconds, then head to the subway station. Why you ask? Read the clue again and rhyme with it - Go down the subway at wilshire and western. jeff, your future __? ?___.
Down the neverending escalator you go, wondering and waiting for the next villian. "Good evening Mr Anderson," are the first words you hear as you step off. Agent Smith, master of the matrix, appears from behind a pillar. He challenges you to a rather uncustomary gentleman's duel. 5min to solve this crosword :
Quickly reacting to Agent Smith's onslaught of wit, you 'move like him' and prove that you are 'the one' by filling in 'three paces' for 4 across. Agent Smith is caught off guard, you run toward him and jump inside his body. He is shocked, shudders, then explodes, leaving you triumphant and flexing your 1s and 0s. Up the escalator you ascend, wondering what now awaits and looking stern that only 42 minutes remain until your future is gone forever.
"Why so serious?" a white-faced, purple clad clown asks as he falls in stride and then pulls you over to a nearby table. "How about a magic trick?" he spits as his tongue flashes in out of his mouth rapidly, "If you figure it out, I'll give you a clue. If you don't, i'll show you my disappearing pencil trick." He bests you in the first, you him in the second. It comes down to a tie-breaker game of War. A trick deck and the only time this Joker isn't one step ahead of his nemesis results in your victory. Upset, he hands you the clue -
From Dust to Dust, like Dante’s ascent, you must follow Virgil With the rise of the sun Gaylord leads you to battle à l'est you will land on the site of the greatest armada of history No parachutes are necessary for this southward invasion From France you have come to meet Lafayette’s mentor and Revolutionary idol He will lead you east to a Royal Admiral, who, eager to reach his knighthood, sails your vessel towards the setting sun Where a ruthless one who cannot be named awaits to check you just beyond the tilted X
You drive through the streets, puzzled by all the literary references and what in the clue, but you halt outside the stone wall of a Graveyard. Thereon lies a large 'X' and 2 cups. Rasputin and a cohort appear and allow you 1 question before you must drink. 1 of them always lies, the other always tells the truth. Which question do you ask?
Well, luckily you ask the right question (something about what cup the other guy would tell you to drink if you asked him) and are directed toward the right cup. Unfortunately, after you sip, Atom tells you that you actually drank the cup with poison in it and will soon die. Luckily, Atom, the one who always lies, was also lying about poison being in the cup and you are safe to proceed to...
Jeff Stephens, you are a marked man. Your future awaits where the day of circumcision and calvary's cross combine, ascend Garfield tower to heights where faith ceases and only fear resides.
Funny thing is, the 'v' in Calvary is often replaced with a 'g' in T9 predictive text, which made this clue a little harder. But eventually, with some phone calls and a hanger left out on the sidewalk, Jeff, gypsie emily and terrorist Wendy walk into the abandoned Garfield building in downtown LA. Its a cool building, mostly b/c its 12 stories high and the floors are dark and somethign was waiting on teh roof for Jeff.
Welp, Jeff makes it to the roof, sees no one, but hears a voice boom through the night sky.
"Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? Are your deeds lay bare? Are your sins punishable?"
"I do not fear death" Jeff shouts back. Again, the boom: "Have you come to retain your future then? Do you believe i have it? Do you know who I am?"
"You are none other than Davy Jones, famed captain of the Flying Dutchman!"
"You are mistaken." shouts a tall, half naked figure, chest adorned in 8 gold medals and head in a swim cap and goggles. "I am Michael Phelps and I AM THE SEA! And you will spend an eternity on this 'ship!"
Jeff laughed and then we went to Katie and Lynsey's house to eat a most excellent Mr Burns cake. Hapy birthday Jefff and congratulations dear reader for succesfully finishing the Horrorquest.
Kokopelli Triathlon
i love a bunch of people gathered together physically pushing themselves. Maybe i just love the outdoors alot and could run, swim and bike all day in them. whatever it is, i will not die with only 1 triathlon under my belt.
well, let me explain how i look at the results of this triathlon before i give them to you. I got promoted to Associate Producer, which doesn't mean anything really other than i now boss around way cooler people than myself, manage a lot of money that i never see, write about 68 emails per day and finally manage cost, artist hours, projected time until delivery and all so we come in under budget. pretty much i analyze numbers.
So, here are #s to play with. 3rd in my age group, 48 overall of >300.
19th overall in swim, 1st fastest in age group, pace of 1:48 100m.
58th overall in bike, 3rd fastest in age group, avg of 18mph, total time of 1:20.
57th overall in run, 4th fastest in age group, avg mile time of 8:46. total time 54min.
so, i didn't make my goal of 1:40, but i love moving my freshly shoven legs for 2:48min straight in the Utah desert. In fact, i climbed a scenic 5mi to Angel's Landing in Zion the next day with Krock.
well, let me explain how i look at the results of this triathlon before i give them to you. I got promoted to Associate Producer, which doesn't mean anything really other than i now boss around way cooler people than myself, manage a lot of money that i never see, write about 68 emails per day and finally manage cost, artist hours, projected time until delivery and all so we come in under budget. pretty much i analyze numbers.
So, here are #s to play with. 3rd in my age group, 48 overall of >300.
| Place | Number | Name | Home Town | Class | Swim | min/100yd | T1 | Bike | mph | T2 | Run | min/mi | Total Time | Back |
| 3 | 915 | Jarom SIDWELL | LOS ANGELES CA US | Inter M 25 - 29 | 00:28:42.600 | 00:01:54.8 | 00:03:27.020 | 01:20:11.210 | 18.0 | 00:01:44.180 | 00:54:22.750 | 00:08:46.3 | 02:48:27.7 | +00:14:16.2 |
58th overall in bike, 3rd fastest in age group, avg of 18mph, total time of 1:20.
57th overall in run, 4th fastest in age group, avg mile time of 8:46. total time 54min.
so, i didn't make my goal of 1:40, but i love moving my freshly shoven legs for 2:48min straight in the Utah desert. In fact, i climbed a scenic 5mi to Angel's Landing in Zion the next day with Krock.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Hearkening Back to the BaYoU
"I know you from somewhere," is how it started. I did quite a few things back at the BYU and some i have forgotten, so it's nice to be reminded of the good ol' days. Sure, it was only 2.56 years ago, but much fun was created and run-ins with D. Ashcroft (the PPD Officer who hated fun more than anyone else i know and tried to shut down a number of our parties and threatened to take both me and my brother to jail) were few. Janna, the girl at the 90s Party in Huntington Beach) was quicker than most, and after only about a minute, she guessed something I had not expected, "Did you hand out pancakes one friday morning to all the students going up that hill to class?" I immediately time warped back to that day and blurted out, "Well, yes i did there Missy, and i hope you got one of them fine Hotcakes!"
She relayed how she was grateful for them and that she especially loved our hats, the taglines shouted and me standing on my head at some point trying to convince people that these would be the best pancakes they had ever tasted (which i actually don't remember). So, thanks Crusaders for making her day.
The Crusaders were privileged to be the receiver of some press attention from the Daily Universe the following Monday:
http://nn.byu.edu/print/story.cfm/56457
The image that will never be erased from this day was when Aaroneus climbed into the halted bus on the corner of 800N and 700E and handed out flapjacks until everyone on the entire bus had had their fill. Thanks to Janna and her placenta friends for bringing these and other memories back. A few of them i remember :
Playing Cupid on Valentine's Day -
Oktoberfest, which I hold very dear -
http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/66013
http://media.www.uvureview.com/media/storage/paper982/news/2007/11/05/Life/Provos.Oktoberfest-3079052.shtml
She relayed how she was grateful for them and that she especially loved our hats, the taglines shouted and me standing on my head at some point trying to convince people that these would be the best pancakes they had ever tasted (which i actually don't remember). So, thanks Crusaders for making her day.
The Crusaders were privileged to be the receiver of some press attention from the Daily Universe the following Monday:
http://nn.byu.edu/print/story.cfm/56457
The image that will never be erased from this day was when Aaroneus climbed into the halted bus on the corner of 800N and 700E and handed out flapjacks until everyone on the entire bus had had their fill. Thanks to Janna and her placenta friends for bringing these and other memories back. A few of them i remember :
Playing Cupid on Valentine's Day -
Oktoberfest, which I hold very dear - http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/66013
http://media.www.uvureview.com/media/storage/paper982/news/2007/11/05/Life/Provos.Oktoberfest-3079052.shtml
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