Unemployment

Unemployment is everything i thought it wouldn't be. I will sum it up in 3 words : Canyons, Snowbird, Brighton.

I wish i could be unemployed most of my life. Wednesday was my last day at Radium; i walked out the doors with words from Ion's toast "Here is to Jarom, he has been here some time." 2 days later and without a boss, i was hard at work in another state :

I spent this last weekend in Utah with HotChocolate and 'Coon - 2 of the best shredders a guy could have with. And enough fresh powder to keep any man happy.


Hot Chocolate waxing his skis. 'Coon in waay too much powder. Scott got his shredding name because he threatened to steal someone's hto chocolate at 6am in LAX. We called Micah 'Coon because his goggles left an awesome black line around his eyes.


I received my Boardin' name because of where i made all 3 of us sit on the plane. Exit Row.

Dave Humph, brother of Oktoberfest cake swimming champion, also joined us on Chute 3 at Snowbird - which just happens to be a run you have to rappel down into. Dave only goes skiing once a year and this run i lead him down is probably a triple black diamond.

Dave rappeling over the edge of a cliff onto the rocks with Hot Chocolate worriedly looking on.

After losing a ski and tumbling upside down the last 75 feet, dave managed to swing his head out of the way of the larger tree on the right and crash into this smaller tree. "Much less painful collision" he said with a thumbs up.

Then at Brighton there was a cabin.

and a log.


The 'air' i got this weekend is dedicated to economic bailouts, both 'Coon and HotChocolate for being awesome friends and of course Gollum, whose home i go soon.

BALDY is not an Original Name for a Mountain

BALDY is not an Original Name for a Mountain, but I decided I'd climb it anyway.
Apparently, every mountain that doesn't have trees around its peak warrants a name of 'Baldy' AND Baldy can just be a nickname for that mountain, it doesn't even have to be the real name! Now, I of all people understand the need for a good nickname. I mean, i usually can't even remember people's real names ; for example, Comptron and FB's real names totally escape me. I only know one is a robot and the other an architectural-structure/flying-death-machine.

Anyway, not sure who comes up with these, but its probably the same person that names everything Devil this, Devil that. When I road my bike down the California coast in '94, I encountered far too many Devil's Backbones, Devil's Punchbowl, Devil's Staircase and Mount Diablos and my ride was only along Highway 1. Yeah, so this Mt. Baldy was actually named Mt San Antonio, which is even more confusing since there doesn't seem to be any explanation as to why. Well, the Angelinos may not be able to name their mountains very well, but at least they know their concrete.
So, the Voz, pictured above, lead the way to the top. He served as my sherpa and guide from the moment we got off the ski lift and hiked to the top to him talking me out of sliding along the stopped ski lift cable to save us from freezing there throughout the night (luckily, only minutes later the ski lift started again).

I dedicate this climb to the number 88.
and this pose to Todd Taylor, the Postman. All in all, Baldy (the one near downtown LA) is a great climb.

Tryppin' on Thanksgivin'

The SIDs usually start off Thanksgiving by writing everything we are thankful for on a roll of receipt paper that reaches from the ceiling to the floor. In order to achieve that goal, we were thankful for very specific things : each finger, each spoke on our bicycles and every GI Joe and their weapons.

Before the children's children came into picture (pictured below), the parentals used to do family time capsules where we would all sit around the dinner table and talk into a tape recorder for about an hour giving an account of our year to this small device. I venture the real reason we stopped this tradition is because the employees at Best Buy are either too young now or so technologically savvy that they have no idea what a tape recorder is (true story, happened to me about 1 yr ago) OR that there are 7 grandkids now and we can't sit still long enough before the next lightsaber is ignited and a duel begins. i love entropy.
Such chaos led into an impromptu magic show. Here's how it happened. We were playing tag with the lights off in the garage and Jack figured out (perhaps with some help from Katie) that he could fit easily in the large tupperware container and close the lid. He couldn't get tagged! His cousins and siblings quickly noticed the immunity and multiple kids tried at the same time to fit in there. I had to do something to calm them down.
Magic was the answer. Note : No nieces or nephews were hurt in the performance of these acts.

Ok, so i don't have the video of the kids disappearing, but that's pretty cool magic right? Not as cool as a disappearing pencil, but cool nonetheless. We did cut robby in half though. He was just as surprised as everyone else to see his feet being pulled away from his body.
Yadda yadda, then a giant penguin came, Anne won the wishbone break by a mere quarter centimeter and we ate dinner and played christmas the day after, complete with present opening and pickle ornament finding.
A special thanks to the Fizz and all her magical costumes, for they bring joy to the children all over the world.
and a special thanks to my family for being completely awesome. i am truly grateful for you and all the entertainment and love you share with me and the other sentient beings of this planet.

You Oughta Know

You oughta know that i finally spent over $25 to see a concert. Previously i had spent only $23 for Aquabats concerts and i couldn't imagine needing to spend more $ for something that just wouldn't be as good as crowd surfing their children on inflatable dolphins during the 'pool party' song. But, i took Katie to see Alanis Morissette for her birthday last Friday night.

Here are the things i enjoyed most -
1. Alanis spun in circles for approximately 3.5 minutes, at least 105 complete circles. i counted. she recovered in under 15 seconds.
2. the drummer did some crazy thing with his drumstick while playing that looked like he was
waving a magic wand and casting killing curses. since i didn't know the words, i just shouted
killing curses.
3. alanis plays the harmonica. i did jigs, akin to those done by the jiggers of Zion, under
Aaroneous' and Howard's harmonies.
4. orpheum theater - sweet bldg and only 2 blocks away from Garfield tower and WC's camera.
5. average age of the concert goer was probably 36 yrs old. hmmm.
6. as soon as alanis started to sing, i lost katie and was left to myself to blurt what i remember from my freshman year of high school or risk looking the fool for not knowing every song - it's like rain on your wedding day... free rides, but already paid...buncha knives, but just want a spoon... 1 hand in my pocket, 1 smoking cigarette...thank you india. so i sang probably 12 words, but shouting the killing curses with every crazy wave from the drummer sure helped me 'fit in.'
7. katie's face in the above picture.

All in all, it was a pretty sweet concert, mostly because everyone, including the Rock, was so excited and jazzed to scream along with the songs. i give the evening 2 thumbs up ....who woulda thought...to figger.

this was just a cool photo that brings a chuckle - TomBombadil, Atom and the Fish after signing a treatise to uphold justice and fun with the Bat Winged Commander, leader of the Aquabats.

Bachelors & The Lean Mean Grilling Machine

I meant to post this a while ago and now I am a lone man in NZ and without The Grill and my heart yearns for the better days.

George Foremen didn't make it past the 8th round versus Ali, but let me tell you, George has gone much more than 15 rounds with my roommates and me. We, the members of 2464 (and yes, probably even Funk) hereby declare the George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine to the be the greatest device ever created for the mild-mannered Bachelor.
George the Heavyweight has sold over 80,000,000 grills, made over $150 million profit, satiated tens of millions of bellies and curiously slipped its way into pop culture :

Nelly - (2:20)

My mouth piece simply certified, a total package
Open up my mouth and you see more karats than a salad
My teeth are mind blowin givin' everybody chillz
Call me George Foreman cuz i'm sellin everybody grillz

In the heavens, i believe administering angels will cook on the this majestic and holy appliance.

Here are but some of the major uses we have found in this Telestial sphere for the Mighty Grilling Machine:

Pancakes - fluffier, happier, no flipping necessary (though you do have to tilt the grill backwards to avoid spilling) and can easily be divided into Pan-Sticks for the children or finger foods at parties.

Eggs - Gaston eats 2 dozen a day to be roughly the size of a barge. George ate whole chickens to become a champ. I eat only a few week and have never had a simpler time separating egg whites.

Grille a la Quesadilla - yeah, cheese, beans, salsa, even an egg in there. It even has the sweet grill that fast food joints artificially paint on their patties.


Bakin' Cookies - When I look at my oven and try to figure out how to get it to 345 degrees for 13 minutes, I simply cringe. With the GFG, you simply plug it in, place the cookie dough on the Teflon-coated heating surface, sit back and let it do the baking for you. Take it off when it looks like a cookie. so easy!

Warm your toes/feet while watching TV.
Wrap your feet in a thin cloth, insert into grill and... happy feet -

Insta' Face Steam - to make it look like you exercise for when chicks come over -

Ironing your shirts - Do you feel the pounds from your desk job adding on? Have you ever heard that vertical stripes suggest thinness and height? Well, the Grilling Machine from Mt Olympus provides you with just the subliminal vertical lining you need on any shirt. Simply heat, press and slide your shirt to feel thinner and achieve that Champ Physique you deserve.

Mouse Trap - Place a generous hunk of cheese on a warm GFG, allow the aroma to spread throughout & your rodent problems are guaranteed to vanish within hours.

% body fat tester - pinch and measure over how many fins in your GF your adipose rolls roll -

Bacon - it's every man's favorite treat and smell (see picture). Keep the aroma constant by placing 1 glorious strip on the grill every morning and let the scent of heaven waft about your apartment. I believe Michael from the office speaks to this use the best :

Michael: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon ----- sue me -- and since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that…

As I now embark onto the new realm of unbachelorhood, I want to thank GF's grill for keeping my alive, healthy, entertained and in general, studlier than i ever could have achieved on my own. Thanks Champ!